Saturday, July 9, 2016
Regroup and Rebuild
It has been a week and a half since Seppel passed away. I have good days and I have bad days. Unfortunately Stuck is caught in the middle of this.
To say it has been hard is an understatement. I battle not wanting to do anything daily. If I could crawl into a dark hole and hide there for forever, I would.
Most people when they lose a dog have time to grieve and think about things before getting another dog. With Stuck I feel like I am living with a new dog before I am ready to have a new dog. That's the best way I can describe it. We don't really have a relationship(because she is still new) and there are things about her that were more tolerable when Seppel was around.
That being said, I have a lot of really good dog friends who have kept me grounded.
Right now I am mostly working on building a relationship with Stuck. We are still training, but I am taking time specifically to just do things with her. It is hard because there are many days where I don't want to do anything but I have to because she needs it. In a way I am thankful for this because it makes me get out and do things. Inevitably we have a good time too, even if I wasn't feeling it at first.
It's not really Stuck's fault that I am in a funk. Grief is a really strange thing. If I were to give Stuck back (not happening) I would not go out and get another dog for some time. I love the sport of IPO too much to just give up. The logical side of me absolutely does not want to do that. However the sad side of me would like to give up a lot of things right now.
As far as Stuck goes, she's doing really well. I taught her a trick ("rewind" or reverse circle), she's getting really good at now. I took her to a dock diving competition where she was called for finals but we couldn't make it that day. We've been going to dock diving practice and she really enjoys it. Last weekend she was jumping 18ft.
Last week I took her to the beach for the first time with her sister and my friend Kay. She had a good time, we all did. I hope to take her back there soon.
I took her to 1000 acres park down near Corbett on the 4th of July. We met up with Lauren from Zoephee, they go to that park a lot and I was having a very terrible day. Lauren and her girls showed us around the park. I wouldn't normally go to a large "dog park" like that but Stuck is not dog aggressive and at this point is actually afraid of larger dogs, so everything went okay. We honestly didn't come into contact with many dogs other than Lauren's dogs (all of the girls ignored each other) because she took us in areas that were being less traveled that day. It was a good experience overall and I hope to take her back only because dogs are allowed to be off leash there.
I also bought Stuck a collar from Puppy Posh. You can see in the beach pictures her sister has one too. That was completely by accident... I guess the girls want to be twins:
I hope that in time Stuck and I will form a real relationship and that she can help fill the giant hole Seppel has left in my heart. All I can do is try. She is so different from having a bulldog. She is happy and eager but the energy is completely different. It's hard to explain without experiencing it for yourself, but she's just not the same. I do enjoy her and I enjoy working with her, but we have a really long way to go in developing our partnership. It doesn't really help that I am in the throws of grief right now, but I am making a conscious effort to try to build us up.